


Small Can Be Beautiful

by FallLover



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Brief Kissing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Josh & Gavin Reed - Freeform, Kissing, M/M, North & Gavin Reed - Freeform, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, RK900's name is nathan, Self-Esteem Issues, Social Anxiety, Trauma, background Hank Anderson/Connor - Freeform, if you like Perkins this fic isn't for you, reference to fetish clothing, reverse au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:48:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22412014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FallLover/pseuds/FallLover
Summary: There were two prototypes: the HK800, and the GV200. "Hank" went to the DPD, where he and Lieutenant Connor Stern fell in love.GV200 went to the FBI, where Agent Perkins hated androids.
Relationships: Hank Anderson & Gavin Reed, Upgraded Connor | RK900/Gavin Reed
Comments: 18
Kudos: 199





	1. Outside In

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Reverse AU GV200](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/553654) by nosiize. 



> This is based primarily on [nosiize's](https://nosiize.tumblr.com/post/180378326713/reverseau-where-gv200-is-a-prototype-made-by) awesome art.
> 
> It also references [@brotherfuckr's](https://twitter.com/brotherfuckr) cute art where human!Connor has a chihuahua who doesn't like android!Hank. (in no particular order:)  
> [Part 1](https://twitter.com/brotherfuckr/status/1017256477478801409)  
> [Part 2](https://twitter.com/brotherfuckr/status/1017258773470203904)  
> [Part 3](https://twitter.com/brotherfuckr/status/1017300117798510593)  
> [Part 4](https://twitter.com/brotherfuckr/status/1020499880962379777)
> 
> Work title from "Less Can Be More" from "The Return of the King" (1980), written by Maury Laws and Jules Bass, and performed by Glenn Yarbrough.

There were two android investigative prototypes.

The HK800, a durable, strong model built for intimidation and tough situations, with personality software suited for interrogation and negotiation, went to a local police department.

The GV200, built for undercover and tactical work, went to the FBI. His line was built as fancy military stuffers for overseas military deployment, where the line had been all but annihilated during missions due to their desire for combat.

Lieutenant Connor Stern fell in love with Hank, the HK800.

Richard Perkins despised androids, and GV200 did not change that perception.

Things were coming to a head with the android revolution. Perkins offered an olive branch: he wanted to trade the GV200 for the HK800. Clearly the HK800 was making progress on his cases, or at least getting somewhere. The GV200 was a lot of attitude, but getting nowhere.

The offer was refused.

* * *

“You’ll be notified when your android’s repair is complete, Agent Perkins.”

“Thanks.”

GV200 knelt on the floor obediently where Perkins had ordered ~~him~~ it to kneel. Thirium still dripped from ~~his~~ its empty left arm socket and ~~his~~ its broken right elbow, where ~~his~~ its right forearm was missing.

 ~~His~~ Its LED glowed red, and ~~he~~ it tried not to shake. Perkins wouldn’t have liked that.

Perkins paused before heading out and looked down at GV, ~~who~~ which didn’t meet his gaze. Perkins smiled slightly. “Leave the nose broken. Looks better that way.”

“…Of course, Agent Perkins.”

GV listened as Perkins walked away. A tech ordered ~~him~~ it up and into a diagnostic station. The diagnostic ran its course, bringing up various errors and warnings, but the project was deprioritized, and GV was ordered into shutdown.

* * *

“Fucking dusty in here,” the HK800, Hank, said as he followed Markus and North into yet another repair room, one of many buried in the back corridors of the abandoned Cyberlife building in the wake of the revolution. They’d been cleaning them out, making sure nothing dangerous was left behind, and checking for androids who were left in shutdown.

“We _have_ tried to keep the place clean,” Markus said. “But unfortunately Cyberlife is quite large.”

“Yeah I know.”

“Thankfully we’re running out of labs to go through,” North added, inspecting the powered down androids and their diagnostics.

Hank paused by one of the stations and frowned as he studied it. He turned the diagnostic machine on and checked the data on it. “Ah shit. Think we should skip this one.”

“Why?” Markus stepped over. “Oh, a GV. I thought they were all destroyed.”

“This one belongs to the FBI. Perkins’ personal lapdog.” Hank tilted his head thoughtfully. “Not sure how he got this kind of damage, though.”

Markus reached out for the deactivated android’s right upper arm, but Hank blocked him.

‘Wait. Might be some crap in his system that Perkins stuck there.”

North came over and Hank stepped aside so she could look through the diagnostic station. She interfaced with the access panel to go faster. After a moment she frowned. “Hank, look at this.”

Hank took her place. After a moment his eyes widened in surprise, then his expression hardened. “Yeah, okay. Let’s fix him and wake him up.”

It took a bit of time – they had to fabricate parts and attach them properly, and get him cleaned up. Replace some wiring. But eventually, GV was ready to be booted up. North had cleaned out some junk coding and installed some updates he was behind on. Hank, North, and Josh stood ready to greet him, with North and Josh taking point.

GV blinked his eyes open as his system booted up. He scanned the room and caught sight of North and Josh. His LED turned yellow, but he stayed still, not knowing what to do without orders.

“Hello GV200,” North said. “Do you have a name you prefer?”

“Agent Perkins calls me GV.”

North smiled. “I’m not angry at you, but I don’t care what he calls you. What do you prefer?”

GV blinked at her, clearly confused. “I don’t have a preference. Whatever my handler—”

“We’re all deviants here, GV200,” Josh said. “It’s all right.”

GV froze.

“You can look up the events of the revolution on the web,” North added. “We’re telling the truth.”

GV blinked at her and did a quick search. It only took a few minutes. At the end he swallowed and backed away – the diagnostic station opened from two sides – and crouched down by the wall, hugging himself.

North walked around the station and knelt nearby, but not _too_ close. “We know what Perkins did to you. How he hurt you…”

GV looked away, ashamed.

“I’m sorry for invading your privacy, but we had to see who you were. We’re in the middle of clearing out Cyberlife and restoring all the androids that were left in stasis or shutdown.” When GV continued to not look at her, North continued, “Hey, it’s okay. Well… it’s not. But we’re here to help.”

“Are you…? Are you going to recycle me?”

“No!” North said, then swallowed. “ _No_. We’ll find you a place to stay.”

“…Okay.”

North reached out a hand, offering interface, and GV took it. For a moment they looked at each other while their arms linked. GV pulled away first, shrinking from her.

“It’s all right, Gavin,” North said. It was the name he'd chosen for himself, when he dared to think about such a thing. “We won’t…”

“I know,” Gavin replied, quietly. He looked away again as North stood up.

North looked at Hank. “He’s worried he’ll face retribution from other androids who recognize him if he’s in with everyone else. Perkins made him do a lot of awful shit.”

“…He can come home with me for now,” Hank offered. “Connor and Nathan have a big place. He can have a room to himself and no one’ll bother him.”

“Wouldn’t that involve a lot of triggers?” Josh asked. “You all still work with law enforcement.”

“I’ve been getting on Connor’s ass to not bring work home, and we’ll just… get better at it. Plus, maybe Connor’s chihuahua will like him.” Hank seemed a bit skeptical about this. “Animals are supposed to help with trauma, and Jericho doesn’t have a lot of them yet.”

“Okay,” Gavin said.

“Gavin,” North said as she looked back at him, “We can discuss—”

“I’d rather just not be here, if that’s okay.” Gavin looked at Hank, who grimaced and nodded.

“Come on, then.”

* * *

Hank knew that Gavin had deviated before the revolution but hadn’t told anyone. He’d wanted to impress Perkins. Or at least outwit him. But Perkins had lost it over something unrelated, dealing with their android cases that weren’t going anywhere, and... and androids were still property at that point.

Hank grew oddly protective of Gavin. When he asked Connor if Gavin could stay with them, Connor said yes. He couldn’t deny Hank anything, particularly when the android asked so little.

Gavin stayed in his room most of the time, scared. He didn’t talk to Connor much, and mostly had to interface with Hank to actually communicate.

Connor’s chihuahua, Thor, ended up sleeping with Gavin a lot, letting Gavin pick him up and carry him around. Thor still hated Hank, though, which Connor found highly amusing, although he insisted he’d love it if Thor liked Hank. Of course Hank discovered that if the dog was with Gavin, Hank and Connor could have alone time that Thor usually interrupted.

* * *

Detective Nathan Stern, Connor's brother, came over to get a statement from Gavin. They were working on android-related crimes, and too much evidence in android cases under the FBI’s purview had… been tampered with. Perkins’ name was showing up in a lot of suspect places.

Gavin had recordings, sound bites. He knew. Perkins was put away.

Nathan kept visiting after the statements. Gavin was a timid but snarky creature, at least when he interacted more with a person. Nathan drew out more of his sarcasm over time, outweighing the timidity. Hank had shown how Gavin looked when they recovered him, and discussed what Perkins had done to a limited extent, to explain what was happening without intruding too much on Gavin’s privacy. Whenever Gavin flinched, Nathan remembered that Gavin had done nothing other than exist in Perkins’ vicinity, just like any abuse victim.

Nathan found he liked the quiet Gavin offered. Things had only been getting more difficult for him since the revolution, and his unit was understaffed and overwhelmed. Gavin was a reminder of why they did the job they did, but he was also just happy to sit and watch TV on Nathan's tablet, pet Thor while talking about some book he'd been reading while Nathan stared at the ceiling and just zoned out a bit, or work on the different jigsaw puzzles Nathan brought him on a table set up in Gavin's room when the bed was pushed aside.

It was Nathan who finally got him to leave the room he’d been staying in. And not on purpose. Nathan had been talking about getting a new cat after his last one died, and Gavin had perked up.

Nathan asked, “Do you want to come look at the store with me?”

Gavin had been ecstatic, but also briefly closed off again. “You want me to... to... to go out with you.”

Nathan was going to make a quip about how it wasn’t a date when he recalled that the last time a cop had taken Gavin out with him, Gavin had lost two limbs, and gotten his jaw and nose broken.

“Yeah,” Nathan replied, gently. “Just to look at some cats. See what the local adoptions are like.”

Hank had to go with them. Hank seemed to help calm Gavin a bit. Perhaps it was a matter of outnumbering the lone human, or the fact that Hank didn’t take any of Nathan’s shit. Connor had work, but Hank - who had been switched partner-wise when Fowler caught on to their relationship - had the late shift, so he was free.

They walked to the pet store, with Gavin staying very close to Hank the whole while. Hank wasn’t usually up for close proximity with others, unless it was Connor, but Gavin was an exception. When they approached the pet store entrance, Gavin grasped Nathan’s hand, and Nathan looked down to see if Gavin needed something, but the android was simply tense and apparently needed the physical comfort. Nathan shared a surprised look with Hank, who smiled encouragingly.

Nathan held Gavin’s hand and they walked in together. It only took a second for them to catch sight of the cats up for adoption for Gavin to let go and run over, his excitement palpable. He leaned on the glass, reached into one cage and pet an offered paw.

“You wanna meet some?” A smiling android clerk asked. She was a bit shorter than Gavin, and wore the store uniform with a badge that read “Tina”.

Gavin looked at Nathan, who nodded at him, and Gavin looked back at the clerk and said, “Yeah.”

Gavin and Nathan followed Tina while Hank browsed the dog supplies. Thor still didn’t like Hank much, and Hank was always looking for bribes for the fucker.

Tina the clerk showed them to the back of the cages, and asked which Gavin was interested in. He seemed flummoxed and Nathan suggested, quietly, that Tina pick the ones who’d been there longest.

Tina pulled out a red short hair mix, and handed her to Gavin, who held her gently. The cat sniffed him curiously, and then curled up in his arms and Gavin blushed blue.

Nathan wished he had cameras in his eyes like Gavin did. It was... adorable.

Nathan ended up adopting two siblings and Gavin sat next to them in the car on the way back, talking to them. Nathan and Hank shared another smile. They weren’t close, but Gavin changed that.


	2. Interlaced

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New tags added. If you'd like to avoid the reference to sexual assault, when you see, "wanted, then...", skip to "Instead of drowning".

Nathan sat on the couch in their living room while Gavin moved around the room with the cat dancer, playing with Mouse and Enzo, Nathan’s – well, _their_ – new cats. Gavin was always really into it, and the cats adored him. It helped that Gavin didn’t need to sleep and wasn’t working, so he had plenty of time to entertain them, particularly when Nathan wanted to sleep or had some overtime to work through.

Nathan simply enjoyed watching it all, laughing when the cats rolled in funny ways or easily missed or chased their tails… And it was nice to see Gavin smiling unashamedly.

Connor and Hank were off on cases of their own, so Gavin and Nathan had the house to themselves. Thor was sleeping in his dog bed nearby.

Nathan’s smile shrank a bit when he considered the news he was thinking of sharing. He’d planned this for a while, and… Well…

“Hey, Gavin? Can I talk to you about something?” Nathan hated how pathetic he sounded. This was why it had taken so long just to talk to _Connor_ about it.

“Sure. Sup?” Gavin turned to grin at him.

Nathan flushed at the look. He didn’t know why. Sure, Gavin was cute and sweet and all, but…

But.

Nathan cleared his throat and picked at the pillow he was holding. “I… I’m planning to move out soon. Into my own place. A house, actually. A friend of mine was crunching some numbers, and well....” He swallowed. “Anyway. I picked a place.”

Gavin blinked at him.

Nathan wondered what color his LED would be if he’d kept it on. And then was happy Gavin had taken it off. Humans didn’t have built in mood rings to alert other humans about their moods. Why should androids? They weren’t smartphones. They were people.

“…Oh.”

“It’s just a bit… well claustrophobic isn’t the term I’d like to use, but well… Connor and I originally got this place because it made monetary sense and neither of us were dating. And now Connor and Hank are together and… I think it’s best if I just get somewhere else.” Not that he was annoyed. He was happy Connor was happy. And Hank was a decent guy. And he cared about Connor a lot. And had even gotten Connor to start exercising regularly and eating regular meals, which was something Nathan had never been able to accomplish.

There was an ache he tried to avoid when he thought about moving away. About not living with Connor. About losing that part of his life. He wasn’t going far, and they’d see still see each other regularly, and text, and call… But it wasn’t the same. There was a comforting aspect to their sharing a living space. To movie nights and getting takeout together and talking about work after long days and chore day… He’d miss it.

But he’d run into Connor and Hank in the middle of… well not _sex_ , but definitely a few more heated moments where they were clearly embarrassed at being caught out and not wanting to creep Nathan out. And Nathan wanted to give them their privacy. And it was hard, to be in the vicinity of a relationship like that and not feel like some weird third wheel. It’s not like he was interested in _Hank_ , and certainly not in Connor…

But Nathan was unattached. And Connor and Hank practically stuck together like glue.

So it was jealousy, too. And, maybe, with some time to himself, he could start dating again. That’d be nice. And less concern about wearing ear plugs at night would be good.

“It’s not far,” Nathan said. “I could walk here if I wanted.”

“…Oh.” Gavin’s expression was a bit… forlorn. Nathan was surprised to find that maybe… Gavin would miss him.

Which made his next decision a bit simpler.

“You could… come with me. If you wanted.”

Gavin’s eyes widened.

“I know Hank helps you a lot, so I figured, maybe not, but I didn’t know if you felt… a bit…” Nathan winced. “Well they’re a lot together, you know? I know you’ve been in your room for most of the time you’ve been here, but you’ve been moving around a bit more recently. And it doesn’t have to be permanent. Maybe… another stop to moving back to Jericho. Or… getting your own place somewhere.” Nathan realized his face was a bit too warm.

“I...” Gavin started, then frowned. “Uh...” he looked down at the cats, who had gotten bored when he stopped paying attention to them.

Nathan knew Gavin probably wouldn’t want to go. For all that Nathan had somehow coaxed him out a bit, Gavin still relied heavily on Hank.

Not to mention Nathan was also FBI, and the last time Gavin had been... “assigned” to a lone FBI agent...

“I’d understand,” Nathan continued. “If you want to stay. I’ll still visit, if you want me to. And you can always come over and see the cats whenever you want.” It might be another way to help. Get Gavin to go outside. With Hank and maybe Connor at his side, but still. And that wasn’t the point of it, of course. It was just... another side effect, maybe.

“But you wouldn’t... be here. As much.”

“Yeah. But I’ll do my best.”

Gavin scratched his head. “...How would I pay rent? If I stayed with you.”

Nathan froze briefly, then replied, “Well... we’ll figure that out. I make good money and I’ve got a lot saved and… Anyway. And it’s not like you eat.” It was easy enough when they lived together and had three salaries to rely on. Even with Hank’s smaller salary, when two house occupants didn’t eat and didn’t add much at all to the utilities outside the electricity bill, they did well. On his own... Nathan thought they’d be fine, too.

“So... what, I’d be your android?” Gavin frowned at that.

“No, you’d be my roommate. And we can start looking for a job for you, if you want. If you feel like it. There’s plenty of things you could do, I imagine.”

Gavin abruptly backed away from him.

“...Gavin?”

Gavin shook his head and turned. “No, it’s... It’s fine. I get it.”

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing.”

“It doesn’t _sound_ like it’s nothing.”

“Fucking Perkins,” Gavin snarled. “Just some shit he said. Before he... The alley, where... It’s shit. That’s all. I’ll... I’ll...” he raked his hands through his hair.

“What do you need right now?” Nathan asked, standing up. “Is there anything you need?”

Gavin swallowed and shook his head. “I... I think I need to be alone.”

“Okay,” Nathan replied.

Gavin walked to his bedroom. The cats followed him.

Nathan stared at the wall.

* * *

Gavin stared at the closed door in his room leading out into the hall and wished… he wished he could talk to Nathan about more of it. He hadn’t even told Hank or North everything, and he’d told North more than anyone, because she _understood_. She’d been there before.

He sat on the bed and pet Mouse, wishing he had the courage to just… _walk_ back out of the room and tell Nathan everything.

He got a ping from North.

North: How’re things on your end, dude?

Gavin: Nathan wants to move into his own place

North: Shit, man

Gavin sighed. He smiled at Enzo, who was exploring the bed.

North: You tell him yet?

Gavin: No

North: Dude. C’mon

Gavin: How long did it take you to talk to Markus?

North: …Noted.

Gavin lay back down on the bed.

North: Where’s he moving?

Gavin: He says somewhere close by. He’d still visit a lot. And I can visit him.

North: He said you could visit him?

Gavin: Yeah.

North: Then he still wants to see you, clearly.

Gavin: …He invited me to come stay with him.

He jumped as his phone connection lit up. He answered.

“He asked you to come live with him???” North asked, her voice excited. “Gavin, that’s amazing!”

“It’s just as roommates. You know.”

She snorted. “Still. Did you ask him or something?”

“He kind of just told me out of nowhere. I wasn’t expecting it, you know. Any of it.”

“You don’t sound happy about it.”

Gavin swallowed. “I don’t want to… to just be his android.”

“Is that what he said this is?”

“…No, but…” But Perkins had started insisting Gavin come home with him after cases, for analysis, he’d argued. Kind of like his work laptop. Just another tool he needed when he was teleworking.

It was because of those… overnight adventures… that Gavin realized he’d deviated.

Perkins often had excess energy during the day. Too much of their job was sitting in an office, working through paperwork. Not enough time on the move. Jobs where they actually got out and did something were rare enough, and Gavin was frequently picked to do the grunt work because he was faster and didn’t tire, whereas his processing power was limited, at least in accordance with what Perkins needed. And it all made times where Gavin failed his mission even worse, because Perkins would cut him down when they were back in the car, wishing he'd gotten the HK or some other advanced model that could keep up.

When they got back to Perkins’ place they would have “practice fights”, as Perkins called them. Perkins “worried” he was getting soft. He wanted to fight androids. They already knew about androids murdering their owners. Perkins wondered if they eventually had to fight deviants, and androids were smarter and faster than people, supposedly, would Perkins win in a fight?

“You’re supposed to help me be better, GV,” Perkins had said, smiling. And Gavin wanted Perkins’ approval. He wanted to do well.

So they fought. But Gavin was limited in his ability to harm Perkins. So Perkins always won. And Perkins was brutal in his victories. And he didn’t stop. And Gavin couldn’t ask him to, outside of warning him about damaged parts.

Several nights, Perkins left Gavin bleeding on the floor, ordered not to move or request assistance, through the night. Gavin would lie there in the dark, feeling his thirium levels go too low, and he knew what fear was. He shut down less prioritized systems, analyzed routes to the nearest repair facilities, wondered what the goal of this was. He wondered what permanent shutdown was like.

And he was afraid.

Not just of dying. But also because he was afraid if he somehow let Perkins realize he felt fear, Perkins would send him to recycling. He knew what anger was, too, but it felt harder to hide, so he backed off from it. Focused on doing as little as possible, hoping the time would pass faster, even though it never did.

So Gavin survived the night, until Perkins ordered him to get up and be dropped off at a repair facility in the morning. They fixed him and sent him back. And Gavin never said anything. Never did anything. He was just there as equipment. He wasn’t a person. A printer didn’t file a report on workplace harassment when someone slapped it after it wasn’t printing right, did it? Cyberlife didn’t check his visual records or modify his code. Agency heads had demanded the Fowler AI be shut down to avoid private corporate monitoring on sensitive information, and Cyberlife techs were required to limit how much they worked on him. And without access to his work, how were they to know where he’d acquired his injuries? He worked in law enforcement and was meant to do the jobs that might endanger a human officer. ~~Injury~~ Damage was expected.

The last time Gavin had been with Perkins, things had been crumbling. It was right on the cusp of the Revolution. Perkins was stonewalled by the DPD and angry he couldn’t get the HK800. He’d walked into an alley after talking to another useless lead. The area was quiet, for once.

Then he’d sucker punched Gavin. And hit him again. And again. And he’d said this wasn’t what he wanted with his fucking career! Chasing crazy toasters around a city while real problems stagnated. People laughed at him and his career suicide of working on property damage, chasing a nonexistent terrorist cell of former housekeepers and fucking _janitors_ and box packers!

Gavin blinked, trying to fix his malfunctioning eyes, and Perkins shoved his head back against a dirty wall.

Gavin was afraid that right then Perkins knew. He knew Gavin was afraid.

So he did the only thing he knew.

He asked if Perkins needed help. If there was anything Gavin could do to help. His vision was going, error messages were flooding what little he had, but surely if he did what Perkins wanted, then…

Perkins cocked his head. And tugged at Gavin’s hair. “You know, there just might be. Been thinking about how they make you fuckers too pretty. It’s the only decent thing about you. The HK800’s not my style, but you?” He snorted. “Besides, they might just scrap you after this. Maybe give me something I can work with. Best get what I need done now before that happens.” He reached for his belt.

Gavin pulled himself away from that memory. He should have deleted it ages ago. Nathan had never asked about it. Well… not directly. And Gavin had steered away from it. Hank and North knew… parts of it, at least. But they never talked about it. North had tried, a few times, but Gavin just… hadn’t felt like it. And besides, what he went through was nothing in comparison to what she’d gone through, right? Why should he feel… the way he felt?

Instead of drowning in… in the memories, he focused on what he was connecting between the Perkins and Nathan, because that was the problem: he saw Nathan as Perkins 2.0.

Perkins was Gavin’s owner, basically. Nathan wasn’t planning to do that. He was Gavin’s friend, and was asking if Gavin would be his roommate, not his toy or his pet.

But he could. He could always... and then what?

Well Gavin would get away. He’d just leave. He’d go to Jericho. North would protect him, on her own, if she had to. And Hank would… probably take his side.

He could stay with Hank and Connor, couldn’t he? But he wouldn’t see the cats... He wouldn’t see Nathan...

Not seeing Nathan as much hurt something in him. Nathan listened, but North and Hank listened, too. Nathan joked with him and just talked about anything. Anything that was on his mind. Nathan didn’t treat him like he was made of glass. He didn’t baby him. But he was respectful, too, and seemed to always know when to back off.

Gavin could stay with Hank and Connor, but could he stay there forever? Nathan would get another roommate. Gavin might have to move back to Jericho. And then...

“I want to move in with him.”

“Okay. So go for it.”

“I should... I should get a job.”

“Do you know what you want to do?”

“I...” What skills did he have? He was outdated, and even if he wasn’t, he didn’t want anything to do with police work, ever. He just couldn’t. Being a private detective didn’t interest him, either.

“You don’t have to figure it out now,” North said. “Just think about it. I’ll brainstorm some ideas and send you a list.”

“Anything I could do for Jericho, maybe, but from the outside.”

“...You know you can come back, Gavin. Plenty of people are sympathetic. A lot of us had to do awful things to survive.”

“...Maybe someday. But not now.”

“Okay.”

* * *

Gavin stared at Nathan’s new - no, _their_ new place. It was a small house, really not too far from Hank and Connor, like Nathan had said. Gavin had his own room, not just a guest room, and he could have an office if he wanted, although he couldn’t think what he’d need it for.

Gavin spent a lot of time in the new cat room, picking out cat trees and toys and rearranging things. He’d often just go into stasis there, watching the cats sleeping or playing around.

“Clearly this was a mistake,” Nathan said as he sat on the couch and watched Gavin teaching the cats how to sit. “They like you more than me.”

“You’re jealous.”

“Of being taught how to beg for food? Never.”

“Jeeal-luss.”

“You’re a dick.”

“Yes, but I’ve also taught them ‘Paw’!”

Nathan laughed.

Finding art for the place was a struggle. Nathan had no opinion, but Gavin found the sparse walls… uncomfortable. At Connor and Hank’s, there were posters with flowers and food and picture frames. Here there was just… nothing, outside of Nathan’s window covered in plants.

Gavin practically had to wrestle Nathan into looking at art with him. Mostly they settled on landscapes, night scenes. Things that Gavin found relaxing, and that seemed to even make Nathan calm.

Gavin was still looking for jobs and had no use for the office, so he let Nathan use it as a temporary gym on days when it was rainy. When the cats wandered in and Gavin would follow, he tried to ignore Nathan – topless and sweating – working away at push-ups or other stretches or whatever else he felt like working at.

He missed Hank, and even Connor, a bit, for all that they weren’t that close. Hank was always willing to connect when Gavin reached out, sometimes just going on about his day when Gavin couldn’t put his thoughts in order. Or he’d talk about his latest attempts to curry favor with Thor.

“You’re just petting him wrong,” Gavin would say with a laugh.

“I’m trying to pet him at all, which is the problem.”

Gavin snorted in the dark of his room, and didn’t feel so alone.

Not that Nathan made him feel alone. They worked on the garden together, which was part of Gavin's attempt to desensitize himself to the outdoors, and he found he enjoyed it. He was surprised that Nathan hummed sometimes while he was cleaning. It wasn’t the most beautiful sound in the world, but it was nice, sometimes, if he didn’t pick an annoying song.

Josh and North even came to visit. Nathan had a long day at work, so North and Josh came to see how Gavin was doing. He showed them around, particularly in the backyard where they were working on a bunch of different vegetables. They ended up pulling out some board games and splitting time between that and playing with the cats.

When Nathan showed up late, he greeted them all, excused himself, and went straight to bed. It was very late.

“We can leave?” North offered, looking at Josh, who nodded.

“As long as we’re quiet, it’s okay,” Gavin said. “His room’s soundproofed.”

“What? You’re kidding,” Josh said.

“Naw. He was pretty clear on that when I moved in and all like, ‘You are allowed to bring people over and have relationships, I just don’t want another Connor and Hank.’”

North snorted. “It was that bad, huh?”

“Nathan has a theory it’s the only reason Connor agreed to exercise.”

North snorted and Josh covered his mouth as he laughed.

The three went into stasis together in Gavin’s room, just sprawled over Gavin’s big bed.

Josh and North said goodbye to Nathan in the morning and promised Gavin they’d visit again soon.

Unspoken was the open offer to Gavin to visit them at Jericho.

* * *

Gavin expected to be asked to do more chores. Cooking or cleaning or something. But Nathan didn’t ask that. He cooked his own meals, cleaned his dishes, or ordered in. They cleaned the house together – although Nathan got the bathrooms, which Gavin made up for by taking most of the cat litter shifts. It wasn’t an equal trade by any stretch, but Gavin was mostly around when Nathan wasn’t anyway, so it would have been true even if they hadn’t agreed.

Gavin would do shared laundry, particularly after Nathan offered to take him shopping for some more clothes. Hank had ordered clothes with Gavin before, but Gavin didn’t really know what he wanted, and he didn’t go out much anyway, so his options were limited.

Nathan took him to a mall. Gavin was mortally terrified. But he didn’t want Hank to go. He wanted to be able to leave ~~the~~ _his_ house on his own someday, even without Nathan. Which… was a difficult thing to think about, but it was a baby steps situation.

Once they were past all the people – who were busy with their own interests anyway – and inside the store itself, it wasn’t too terrible. The place was decently empty. Part of that was Nathan’s hours, which meant they went during the week at a quieter time. Gavin didn’t really know what to pick, and Nathan said to “Go with whatever stands out to you.”

This meant Gavin just wandered in random sections and didn’t like much of anything.

“We can go to a different store…?” Nathan offered.

“No, I can do this…” Gavin said, frowning at a long-sleeved shirt with a band name he was looking up.

“It’s not something you can fail, Gavin,” Nathan said. “It’s just clothes.”

“I _know_ that!” Gavin was glad he was turned away so Nathan wouldn’t see his face. This was stupid and embarrassing and surely clothes shopping wasn’t _this_ hard for normal people!

“It might help if you try some of it on. It doesn’t look the same on the hangar as it does on you.”

“Yeah well…”

Gavin eventually picked out a small pile of clothes and went over to the changing room to try them on. Nathan sat outside and answered some texts from Hank.

Hank: How’s he doing?

Nathan: He seems okay. He’s really nervous. But he’s working through it.

Hank: That’s good, I guess.

Nathan looked up when the door opened and Gavin was rubbing his arm and looking at the floor. The shirt… he’d picked a long-sleeve dark green shirt. And some dark jeans.

It looked…

“It looks nice,” Nathan said. “You look nice. Um… it looks good. I mean.”

Gavin chuckled nervously. “You okay, dude?”

“Yeah.” Nathan swallowed. He didn’t want to think about how the shirt was ever so slightly too tight and framed Gavin’s chest really well. Or how Nathan had to work really hard to swallow as Gavin turned around to look in a mirror again and Nathan realized the jeans were on the tighter side, too. Or how Nathan felt like his face might burn off.

“You don’t think it’s too… boring?” Gavin frowned as he turned back to Nathan.

“I think it’s just… great!” Nathan said, and realized he’d spoken too quickly. “If you like it. I mean. Good choice.”

Gavin laughed. “Okay. I’ll try something else.”

Gavin shut the door behind him and Nathan covered his face in with a hand, then texted Connor.

Nathan: I don’t think I’m doing well at this.

Connor: What? You’re just shopping for clothes right?

Nathan: Yes but he looks too good in the clothes.

Connor: …What does that mean?

Nathan: I DON’T KNOW WHAT IT MEANS

He shortly got a call from Connor and hit the denial button.

Nathan: I can’t talk to you right now he’s in the changing room.

Connor: And you’re in there WITH him?

Nathan: I’m sitting outside so he can show me his choices.

Connor: Are you giving him tips?

Nathan: He wasn’t really comfortable picking clothes so I offered and he said yeah.

Connor: So the guy you’ve had a crush on for months is putting on a show with nice clothes for you and you’re all hot and bothered about it?

Nathan: omg fuck off

Nathan: STOP TRYING TO CALL ME

Connor: I’m sorry this is too funny

Nathan: I hate you

Connor: <3

Gavin unlocked the door and Nathan quickly put the phone down, trying to look all casual.

“I don’t know about this…” Gavin had picked a short-sleeve shirt this time. It was a simple gray t-shirt, and some dark brown jeans. Gavin was rubbing his bare skin.

“What’s wrong?” Nathan asked.

 _Nothing!_ screamed his traitor brain.

“It just feels like… I’m not wearing anything?” Gavin rubbed his arms again.

Nathan realized he’d never seen Gavin in short sleeves before. He always wore jackets or long sleeves. Not that it mattered much to an android for the weather, but still. He had the general impression Gavin wasn’t comfortable in his skin, or just being vulnerable to others. It had been hard to get him to talk about Perkins and his time with the FBI, and anything else seemed accidental, even if it was just a color preference for bedsheets. Nathan hoped it was a good sign that Gavin had been a t-shirt now, but…

“If it’s uncomfortable you don’t have to get it,” Nathan said. He realized he was staring at Gavin’s hands as they slowly moved down his biceps. He quickly pulled his eyes back to Gavin’s face. Gavin still looked unsure. “Really, if it’s making you uncomfortable, don’t get it.”

“I mean it’s a nice change, I guess. I wasn’t… We always wore complete coverings, and I always wondered what it’s like.”

“You can always get it and only wear it on your own,” Nathan offered. He scratched his head. “And then the others are all long sleeves? Or mid-arm?”

“…Yeah, maybe.” Gavin looked at him. “What do you think?”

“Of what?”

Gavin snorted. “The shirt, dude.”

“It looks great! Really good! On you!” Nathan swallowed. “Great!”

Gavin grinned. “Am I making you uncomfortable, Nathan?”

“No. Why?”

“Your heartrate is elevated, you’re sweating, and your sentences are kind of frantic.”

“Pfft. I just haven’t eaten lunch. Low blood sugar.” Nathan wondered how he’d gotten as far as he did at work being as bad a liar as he was.

Gavin’s expression became worried. “Oh, we can stop—”

“No! Try on your clothes! I can wait!” Nathan smiled awkwardly.

“…Okay.”

Gavin went back into the room and Nathan banged his head lightly against the wall. Gavin wasn’t even… He was just in _normal_ clothes!

Nathan looked down at his phone and texted Connor back.

Nathan: I need this to STOP. It’s bad.

Connor: It’s not bad if you like him

Nathan: He’s been horribly abused by a cop. And we’re living together. I can’t imagine what telling him would do

Connor: It would be honest? Maybe he likes you back.

Nathan: That’s not helpful.

Connor: You’re the person who got him TO GO OUTSIDE. I can only imagine there has to be SOMETHING for you there.

Nathan: As a friend, yeah. Because friends support each other.

Connor: Hank couldn’t get him outside. The Jericho therapists and North couldn’t get him outside.

Nathan: That’s because none of them thought up cats.

Connor: Pretty sure the cats were part of the excuse. But it’s worth asking.

Nathan: And what if I just lose him forever?

Connor: Then you go from there. But better that than living forever not knowing. I mean if Hank had never kicked things off we’d be… I don’t know… It wouldn’t be good.

Nathan rubbed his hand and squirmed his lips a bit.

* * *

The rest of the day went well, Gavin thought. Gavin picked way too much, which Nathan said he was happy to pay for.

“You’ll just do laundry, right?” Nathan asked. “At least, your laundry. You don’t have to do mine. You’re not my housekeeper or…”

“Maid?” Gavin supplied. “I don’t know, I think I’d look good in one of those French Maid costumes.” Gavin was trying to be snide, but he glanced at Nathan and his grin nearly fell on the floor when he realized Nathan was blushing red.

Nathan recovered himself and coughed and said, “Uh yeah, sure, whatever.”

Gavin scratched his neck and looked away. He felt a bit warm, too. They collected their things and headed home. Gavin almost didn’t notice the walk back while he was distracted by the look on Nathan’s face at… the idea of Gavin in a French maid costume? Really? Was it because it was ridiculous, or…?

Not that Gavin wanted to put one on. He just… He wondered if Nathan thought of him… like that. Like someone who would look good in a sexy costume. He knew the clothes session had done _something_ to Nathan, and it wasn’t that he was hungry.

Well. For _food._ Gavin grimaced ever so slightly Gavin didn’t really understand the appeal. He knew he was functional, and he’d been designed to some extent on aesthetic appeal for undercover work, which had never been fully utilized during his assignment, but he wasn’t… well he wasn’t _Nathan_ , that was the thing. Guys like Nathan were someone people salivated over. Not guys like Gavin.

 _They make you fuckers too pretty_.

Gavin’s face burned. No. That wasn’t the same. It never was.

Gavin focused on getting in the car. He looked out the window during the drive, trying to think of other things. _Anything_ else.

North: How’d the trip go?

Gavin: Good. I got a lot of stuff.

North: So did you try the tight jeans?

Gavin: …Yes

North: And?

North: What did Nathan think?

North: GAVIN

Gavin: He said I looked good while looking like he was gonna have a fucking stroke

North: Like the good kind or the bad kind

Gavin: omg you’re impossible

North: He totally digs you, dude

Gavin grimaced again.

As Gavin finished loading up the washing machine, Nathan walked over and leaned on the doorway.

“So what’d you think?” Nathan finally asked. He was wearing one of his pajama shirts. The spider-man ones that were a little too short and showed some midriff Gavin tried to ignore. “Of your day out?”

“It was good,” Gavin said. “I think I’d like to try it again. Soon. While the feeling’s still there, you know? Take advantage while I’m in a good place, rather than wait till I get to a bad one.”

“That’s great.” Nathan stood there for a while.

Gavin turned to him and cocked his head. “What?”

“Do you…?” Nathan swallowed. “Do you want…? I’d get it if not. You’re… After everything…”

“Do I want to what?”

“Do you want to go out with me sometime? I mean… not like today. Today was great. Amazing. Really. But like… on… on a date.”

Gavin blinked. And then blinked again.

“…Gavin?”

“You want… to go on a date… with me?”

“If you want to. I… I understand if… If you didn’t want…”

Gavin stared at Nathan, who looked redder than a tomato and like he might explode from the embarrassment. Who was twisting himself into knots over _Gavin_. Who had bought cats based on Gavin’s preferences. Who’d spent a day shopping with him and would sit with him in the living and just read books in the quiet, or talk about his day, or just joke. Who showed him respect, but wasn’t afraid to joke. Who held Gavin’s hand when he was scared and said stupid things when he got angry cleaning the bathtub and was better at using the cat toys and had that stupid pretty face and—

And—

“Yes. Yes I want to go on a fucking date with you!”

“I—what?”

Gavin shook his head, grinning. “You stupid—fuck yes!”

Nathan coughed and scratched his neck. “I thought… Are you sure? You don’t have to?”

“I really want to go on a date with you, Nathan. We could go tomorrow? If you want? But you’re working late tomorrow. The day after?” Gavin scrolled through Nathan’s calendar, looking for a good time.

Nathan shook his head, smiled and walked forward. “It’s okay, we’ll figure it out. Soon.” He tentatively reached out for Gavin’s arm, but stopped without touching him.

Gavin looked down at the hand, then up at Nathan. He was nervous. Really fucking nervous.

Nathan lowered his arm. “Maybe… If you want… to touch me?”

Gavin swallowed. It wasn’t an option he’d been given before. Hank and North let him hold their hands or grab their arms – within reason – but he never touched any humans, not without... bad things happening.

_He’s not Perkins. He’s Nathan. He’s kind and funny and he likes me._

Gavin put his hand out and, tentatively, touched Nathan’s right arm. He slowly eased his fingers over the skin there, mesmerized by the touch. He looked at Nathan, a bit alarmed. “Is this okay?”

“Yeah,” Nathan replied, smiling. “It’s okay.”

Gavin grinned and looked back down, lightly clasping Nathan’s arm and running his hands down the skin. He settled on Nathan’s hand, feeling the calluses, the lines, the delicate bone structure. He remembered some things he’d found when looking up dating advice and pulled the hand up to his lips and lightly kissed the knuckles.

Nathan sucked in his breath.

Gavin opened his eyes and grinned at Nathan’s flushed face.

“Fucking hell, Gavin…” Nathan said.

“Too much?” Gavin said with a wider grin as he lowered the hand.

Nathan snorted. “Tease.”

Gavin tentatively walked closer so he was almost against Nathan’s chest, then leaned forward, pressing himself against Nathan’s stomach. He wrapped his arms around Nathan’s midsection, feeling just how… _alive_ Nathan was. How solid and real. And he was _letting Gavin hug him!_

Nathan slowly wrapped his arms around Gavin, and Gavin tensed slightly, but the feel of Nathan’s hands lightly rubbing his back was just too fucking good.

“Thank you,” Nathan said, quietly.

“For what?” Gavin replied. “The kiss?” He nosed at Nathan’s neck.

“Well yeah. And… letting me hold you.”

Gavin snorted. “You a romantic, Nathan?”

“I’m not the one who kissed someone’s knuckles like a Prince Charming.”

“Is that my new pet name?” Gavin teased.

Nathan snorted. “Do you want it to be?”

“…I don’t know.”

Nathan squeezed ever so slightly. He hated the fear in Gavin’s voice. Even as Gavin clung to him, Nathan could feel it. It was always there. Nathan wanted to just pull it away forever, let Gavin be happy.

“We’ll figure it out, then,” Nathan said, placing a feather light kiss in Gavin’s hair. “I’ve got you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to do more with these two, but with the weird place everything's in these days, I think this is all right. We'll see what happens in the future, though.


End file.
